The real me, as in, me, just me.
No, you don't.
Why?
Cause nobody knows.
I've never really open up to anyone,
no one at all.
It's just difficult to do it,
especially the likes of me,
ones that hates to be true to others and themselves.
Honestly, I've hardly been telling the truth about how I feel.
It's quite painful,
keeping all to myself.
People tends to think they know me,
getting all cocky just because they've spent a little time with me,
but what they think they know,
are just another layer of cover I've put on.
And I hate seeing people saying they're my best friend,
when they don't know a single thing about me!
And why don't I ever tell others about my feeling,
how the real me is like?
Why?
Why?
It's all because of one reason,
for sure,
if I tell....
No one will feel the same way, ever again.
Well, to those who're not the likes of me.
They won't understand.
They'll think I'm a freak.
I'm sure of that.
And people tends to NOT accept me for me.
They tends to hate the real me.
Which hurts me deeply.
Leaving deep carved-on scar on my heart.
Unlike others,
I behave oddly, different, not normal.
I've slowly told others about me being Otaku.
But all thinks Otaku are just plain old stupid anime fans.
Wrong, VERY wrong!
I want to voice it out-
but no one listens.
Actually, do people even listens to what I say?
Do they even understand me?
NO!
It's killing me,
slowly, it hurts,
I want to cry, so badly.
I need a shoulder-
but everyone knows-
I'm not the one to tell the truth when I'm in person-
which is why, I'm more of an cyber-person.
I'm only able to write out my feelings-
and not to voice out-
which is a really bad, painful thing.
It's heart wrenching.
There's so many emotion I feel at once,
what do I really like, enjoy-
no one knows.
Why?
Because people tends to judge a book by its cover-
No matter how a person denies it-
they still do-
in a way that they, themselves, don't realize it.
Some people might just find this-
well, 'Hey! Nice way to voice out your feeling there!'
or maybe 'Ohhh, you felt that way? I can lend you my shoulder'-
SHUT UP!
You don't get it!
I'll be honest now-
I get depressed easily!
I get angry easily!
I have short, really, really short fuse!
When I say no, I mean it!
When I want it, I want it, now!
I'm pretty much a selfish person!
I want to do things I enjoy, and I enjoy only!
I want people to listen, when I want them to!
I hate studying, and I just want to run away from it!
I want many things, even though I know I won't be able to get it- I stil want it!
I hate many things, most things that people likes-
BUT THAT'S JUST ME!
I hate me, honestly!
I hate that the fact I can't always keep my cool!
I hate that I can't keep my concentration on studying!
I hate the fact that I always complain on almost everything!
I hate the fact that- I can't live a normal life!
Just a normal teen-
People, normal people find otaku-
weird, useless, geeky look, living in a fantasy world-
yes, we do, so what?
That's just us...
And maybe that's why-
that's why we run away from the real world-
because we know, our own fantasy world-
will always be there, there to welcome us.
I really, really want to just throw all my stress away and run off,
to a far, far land-
my fantasy-
the world that works the way I want it to be...
As in my world, my own fantasy-
there's no people who look down on you-
nobody who won't accept for who you are...
It all work the way ones want it to.
Yeah, people tends to also say that they get it-
but they don't...and I know it...
and it hurts, hurts me badly...
But always try not to show it-
never have I did once...
But I really cannot stand it...
I just....want to run away...
from everything- call me a coward, a weakling-
But all I want is just to-
To live my life to the fullest,
the way I want it to be...
I get it...nobody accepts me...
I don't mind...don't mind it....anymore...
And so...I just want to run away...away...
Far, far away...
________________________________________
Now, I wonder, if that express me enough?
Yeah, I'll not lie now,
that's how I've always felt,
and now, I just want to shout out loud.
Maybe I'll get mom to bring me up to a mountain that allows people to scream their lung out...
Yeah, I'll do that...to run away from the things I hate-
And maybe...feel much more, stress-free.....yeah...
